My Home
by SkyTea
Summary: A sad story about Xanxus' past and his journey towards happiness. XanxusXFemTsuna Warning: Cheesy Xanxus! You've been warned! kkkk...


_Okay so this is my first one shot. The story about Xanxus came to me suddenly T_T  
__It was a spur of the moment thing... __Oh well, hope you'll like this short and sweet story!^^_

* * *

**My Home**

_Annoying._

_There's nothing but trash._

My mother named me Xanxus...

...that's it.

I have no surname.

My old man… I didn't know what he looked like nor what he was called. He left me and my mother before I was even born. We never talked about him, but I know that… he's a well-to-do man, married and has two children.

I resemble him… she said… that's why she always beat me to a pulp. I never fought back, she's my mom after all. I just accepted it… it was my punishment for being born.

_"You impossible child! Come on cry! I should not have given birth to you! You're nothing but a burden! Go rot to hell just like that bastard! You TRASH!"_

My mother was always out. She comes home once a week… I think…? I saw her once with an old rich man…

she saw me…

but she didn't care.

She must've forgotten her own child…

...

...

...

...Why was I even born…

if even my own mother...

...

...

...

doesn't want me…?

...

...

...

...

_Where do I go…?_

_..._

_..._

_I'm just a piece of trash... huh?  
_

_I deserve to be in dirty places like these... _

* * *

I grew up in the streets of Italy. The sky was always dark. I don't know why. But in my eyes... they were forever pitch black.

Stealing was my hobby. At first, I was hesitant, but my stomach couldn't help it. There was no food at home... there was no one at home.

It's just an empty hut full of nothing but painful memories.

And just like my mother... I didn't go back.

I escaped.

I ran away.

...

...

...

...

_"You jerk! Dirty bastard! Just go ahead and sell yourself like your dirty mom! HAHAHAHA!"_

...

...

...

That day... I almost killed someone.

I did not stop even after his body bathe from his own blood...

even after he begged me to let him go...to stop hurting him...

I did not stop.

...

...

...

Why would I...?

...

...

...

She didn't...

I should at least resemble her in some way... don't I...?

* * *

Everyday was hell. I did what I can to survive.

I became a city rat. A pest in society. An eyesore.

That was what I was in everyone's eyes...

...and that's what they are in mine.

**TSK.**

I learned how pitiful life can be. How unfair this world is. How painful loneliness can be...

I know it all too well... how the light will never shine on me.

At the age of seven, I got used to life in the streets.

There, I was stronger than anyone else. They feared me. No one could defeat me. I wasn't afraid of anyone.

_"This jerk! Feeling all high and mighty! You bastard! Che! You should just go die! Throw him on the trash where he belongs! HAHAHA"_

_Tsk. These shitty bastards! Can't fight alone?! These cowards are only brave enough when they have back up. Weaklings! Che._

I fought until dawn. I won. I always do. I'm strong after all. No one can touch me.

No one can hurt me now.

...

...

...

_"Hey kid! __Yoohoo! The violent kid there who just beat up a bunch of kids! I'm talking to yah! Hey!"_

_..._

_..._

_..._

I did not know that answering to that call... would lead me to much deeper darkness and sorrow.

* * *

His name was Lothario. He's a stupid old man who lives alone in a small house. He used to live there with his seven-year old son three years ago, but due to some accident, his son passed away.

He fed me bread and hot soup every day, in return, he wants me to keep him company. I don't know what he does for work... but he fed me and that's all there is to it.

For weeks, I slept on a bed and I ate twice a day, but I wasn't allowed to go out.

It's fine. I was only alone for a few hours then he'll come back with bread and stories to tell.

Patiently waiting for someone... it gave me a fuzzy feeling.

_"Heh. You seem like a good kid. Don't worry, I'll take care of you from now on, yah lil' guy! I'll protect yah from all the bad guys... so don't go fightin' on yer own now.. you're just a lil' kid after all..." _

He had an idiotic smile.

It felt like... I finally found a place I can call home...

...

...

...

...

But one night...

He was late. It was already pass midnight.

The door was unlocked.

I disobeyed him and I went out to search for him.

_"Oi! You shitty old man! Where are yo-"_

There he was, by the alley, surrounded by thugs twice as big as him. They had weapons... guns and knives, and their eyes... their eyes that could not fool even a kid like me... those eyes are the eyes of a man ready to kill.

_"Oi! Where the hell is the thing you owe us huh?!"_

_"I-I have it... I have it b-back at h-home... I-I'll give it... p-please don't kill me."_

_.._

_.._

_.._

He was trembling.

He looked pathetic...

begging for his own life. A weakling... just trying to live.

I balled up my fists in anger. Tsk.

How disappointing.

_"So then... did you take care of this one properly this time...?"_

I couldn't move. It's not possible...

_"Y-yes! I did! I fed him everyday... and I-I made him sleep on a bed too! You can g-go look at him if you w-want!"_

_"Alright! If it goes well... I'll spare you and your son's life. HAHAHAHA"_

N-No way. This bastard... he...

_"I-I assure you! This k-kid'll sell well. H-he's l-like a m-monster! Y-you should see his f-face and his s-skills... like an a-animal!"_

There footsteps became louder... I couldn't move.

_That bastard! He lied to me! He should just go ahead and die!_

* * *

When they arrived at his house...

...

...

...

It was empty.

They beat him up like crazy.

He looked miserable as he still begged not for his life...

...but for his son's life.

It was stupid.

I saw everything from the small window by the corner.

I couldn't run away. I wonder why...

deep down I was still hoping...

that... this is all just...

a lie...

...

...

...

Tsk. Pathetic.

...

...

...

Then... he stood up and slowly turned around.

He looked at me... eye-to-eye.

He was silent.

He did not say a word nor did he open his mouth.

He just smiled.

He flashed that idiotic smile of his... like it was the last smile he'll ever make.

...

...

...

_Live well. Lil' kid._

*BANG*

...he became lifeless in a matter of seconds...

* * *

I can feel it.

It's hot.

My skin's burning.

It's eating up my whole body.

**A-A-AHHHHHHH! **

**HAHAHAAHA FEEL MY WRATH!**

Everything went on fire. I can hear screams and cries. It's endless!

**HAHAHAHAHA! It feels good! **

**DIE DIE DIE! YOU TRASH! DIE!**

...

...

...

...

It was already morning when I regained consciousness.

My body felt weak... but my spirit was stronger than ever.

An old lady took me in.

She cared for me for three days.

She looked like my mother... I think...?

I forgot what my mom looked like.

Tsk.

I just want to burn everything away!

This power in my hand that glowed brighter than the darkness I'm used to...

It's fascinating.

I feel stronger.

I want to fight.

My blood boiled.

**...**

**...**

**...**

**TSK.**

He said he'd protect me...

But he didn't...

No one did...

I' am alone after all.

This is my solitude.

No one shall come close.

No one.

I'll become the strongest of all.

I'll protect myself.

I'll show this world who's miserable and pathetic!

* * *

The old lady was silent.

She only asked about what happened the other night. She must have been watching from afar.

I said I caused the fire.

The fire came from me...

...from my body

...from the depths of my soul.

...

...

...

She smirked.

She took me away the next day.

I though we were heading to the police...

but we weren't.

She took me in front of a huge house and we waited until a car stopped by.

From the classy black car came out a man.

He seemed rich and powerful, men with weapons were always at his side..

I hated him already.

but at the same time... a feeling of familiarity came to me.

...

...

He approached me and the old lady.

She spoke.

_"This kid is your son. He can make flames like you do. Go ahead, show him."_

Pathetic. Another one. _  
_

But it confused me. To know that there's another one like me... could he be...?

I obediently did as I was told.

* * *

I was taken under his care for ten thousand euros. As expected, he's rich and powerful. It was also to my liking that he leads the number one family in the underworld. Battles and bloodshed were a common sight.

The man asked me to call him my father. He said I was his son. He has been looking for me for years.

But he looked indifferent, though his eyes... his eyes were full of life.

This man... made my blood boil even more.

I was sorrowful, but he smiled at me.

And it pricked my heart, that should not exist.

But I believed him.

...

...

...

Until that day...

I was all grown-up.

_"Xanxus, my son..." _He called me.

TSK. TRASH.

LIAR.

A piece of notebook made me realize how pitiable I really was.

...

...

...

...

I became rebellious and spoiled, but that old man didn't complain. He took care of me like I'm his flesh and blood.

It was annoying...

I was hungry for power. I want to become stronger, so I fought and trained all day.

I also killed if I have to.

And being the "son" of the next boss was to my advantage. It was my fate.

I shall take revenge on this world that mocked me.

* * *

I gathered loyal underlings... and with their power, an independent assassination squad, Varia, was formed.

I hated working with others... but I needed them for the fulfillment of my goal.

They worshiped me, so their wasn't really any problem. They did everything to please me.

We were all the same. We lust for battle and killing was a living to us.

Being together was unexpectedly of great comfort.

* * *

The day came when I was ready to take my throne...

but that inconsiderate old man made everything difficult.

I was to compete the title with others.

**Tsk.**

But it was no problem to take care of my competitors, I just had to take 'em down one by one.

But there was another one...

He planned everything perfectly.

_"What do you think you're doing old man?!"_ I protested. It was unacceptable. This is supposed to be my fate.

_"Xanxus, my son..."_ Those words... made my ear bleed.

_"Don't call me that! If you won't give it to me, I'll just take your title by force then!"_

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

Our battle has scarred me for life.

We did not share the same blood. We never did.

But it still hurts.

_"Xanxus, my son... someday you'll understand... how it is to live, not just for yourself... but also for others. The day will come, when you'll find something you want to protect... not just your pride. And that day... is the day when you'll realize you have become strong."_

* * *

I fought with the other candidate for the title of Tenth boss of the Vongola.

The first time I met her, I thought she was weak. She looked helpless.

But she baffled me.

Whenever her group were in a dire situation...

...she looked the strongest.

I mocked her. I hurt her and I stepped on her.

but it angers me to no end how she kept on standing up with the same look as that old man!

She said she wanted to win for her friends. She can't lose this battle for them.

_Pfft. What blasphemy._

She trusted her comrades too much.

She'll just regret it in the end.

She's just another eyesore.

I hate her.

I want her dead.

...

...

...

but she defeated me.

She made me realize how weak I was.

For some reason, for only a moment, when she extended her hand to reach mine...

I saw light.

_"Hey. Don't be a kid. Stand up."_

* * *

What my old man said...

I did not understand at all...

Nor did I realize the significance of my sufferings...

...

...

...

...

Until I met her.

_"Xanxus? What's wrong…?"_

A gentle voice is calling my name.

My cheek felt warm in an instant. Her hand is soft and smooth. I caressed it with my own.

Everything felt real.

_"Hey. What's wrong…? It's unlike you."_ It continued to call me.

I opened my eyes.

I saw the most beautiful thing in the world.

I saw her…

…and the blue sky was terribly beautiful.

Her smile is infectious, her eyes attracting my very soul… and her voice just begging me to stay with her.

She giggled. She always did, especially when she thinks I look funny.

Right now, I just want the time to stop.

In this very place… as I lay my head on her lap… as she caresses my head gently… as I feel warm and comfort just by being by her side.

_"What do you want…? Why're you disturbing my sleep?" _

_"Heh. So you don't know…?"_ She said as she softly touched the side of my eyes, wiping away the tears that I never knew existed.

_"Tears were falling down from your eyes. I couldn't help but worry."_ Her long brown silky hair touched my face gently. It was arousing. I kissed each and every strand as it reached my lips.

_"You said that you never cry when you're feeling sad or lonely…"_ She continued. Her voice full of worry. I can't even believe that this person has defeated me several times already. We were enemies at first, but then we became comrades... Before seeing her would ruin my day, but now, not being able to see her would dry my heart out.

This person has broken through my defenses… through the barrier that has prevented me from ever knowing happiness. She hurt me… but she also healed my wounded heart. I was able to know how lonely I was and how much I have yearned for the light. Whenever I'm with her, everything that happened feels like a distant dream.

She cherished me and looked at me equally. With her, I understood my value. I understood the importance of other's existence and how painful it is to let go. I was able to trust again. She accepted me for who I was. It took some time... but I was able to realize that...

I love her. With all my heart. I don't want to be separated like before…

I'll cherish her.

Now that I know the feeling…

Now that I have you…

my treasure…

I'll never let you go.

_I want you to know… how much you mean to me. _

_"Tsk. Don't you know?! It's because of you."_ I said as I looked directly into her beautiful crystal-like orbs that engulfed me.

_"I finally found you, my happiness. I'll never allow you to leave."__  
_

She blushed.

She now puts down her guard whenever she's with me. She's defenseless. It makes me want to protect her and love her more and more.

These feelings are overflowing.

This happiness… I'll always treasure.

I grabbed her flushed face and slowly pushed it onto mine.

Her lips were soft.

It was sweet delicacy.

I wanted more.

This feeling is endless.

...

...

...

...

...

**"I love you. Marry me, Tsuna."**

_In your arms, I finally found my place... my home._

_**End of Story**_

* * *

_Oh my! I really love this Xanxus!^^ KYAAAH!_

_Hope you did too! :)_


End file.
